Hopefully by now it’s abundantly clear that I’m not a father. Maybe there’s some alternate universe where I’ve already done the dirty deed, but I’m too paranoid about all the potential consequences. This conversation isn’t very wholesome, so I’m gonna shift gears and transition into a different theme. I’m not sure if I really want kids that badly. I’m sure eventually I’ll go through a midlife crisis and attempt to fill the giant hole in my life with waking up at 3am to screaming, but I could always just date a mental patient with insomnia and Tourette’s.
If I raise kids, then I want to raise them to be just like me. My dad raised me to be like him in a ton of ways, so we’re two peas in a pod. I’m just like a younger version of him. However, seeing as we grew up in two very different eras, there are some obvious differences in our personalities. For example, our work ethic. I have none. I do now that I have a job, but I was a terrible student until junior year. Only grade-wise. I didn’t like attack a teacher anything. My dad’s friend in Vegas raised a bunch of kids who are just like him. Maybe that means they’ll be owning their own successful car window tinting businesses too. Steph told me that she wanted to name her first son Mason, and I told her that if it was my kid then he’s not keeping that name. If I was to have a girl, I would want to name her Emily, Amelia, or Elizabeth.
Those are super pretty names and I like all of them. Plus if her name is Amelia, then she can go by Emily anyways. I don’t know if I’d have kids with Steph. She’s my best friend, but that’s not the only qualification for having someone’s kid. Plus we’re only kids, so I’m not having a baby anytime soon. Still, kinda early to decide though. On the plus side, Taylor would have a cousin. She’d be a lot older than her cousin though, and she would probably be kinda selfish since an only child has difficulty learning how to share.